I enjoy reading your essays ( you may note by my word choice that I am older. A lot older!). But I want to make a point: you can restart and change gears in career almost at any age in these United States. You are not “ locked and loaded” except by your own imagination. There are many a story of becoming a teacher, lawyer, doctor, leaving a lucrative career or simply changing direction from every decade of life. Sure, I wouldn’t want to start a 8 year training program at 50. But I know people have. Step back. Look around and find meaningful work or find meaning in your work. You spend a lot of your life involved in it.
Banger today Jack. I’m in my late 20s and everyone around me (including myself) is going through the same thing. It’s like life has become all about setting up your 30s and 40s for success.
Mmm…. I felt a lot of the stress and pressure to “live up to my potential” too - I was also an overachiever and accolade collector (with a Master’s degree from Oxford etc).
But honestly, as forty starts to slide into view, it all starts to seem a little silly.
There is nothing to figure out. The pressure to “figure it out” is a sort of societal anxiety, but that’s all it is - anxiety. This is clear to me now.
I spent so long worrying about finding my purpose and fulfilling my potential that I didn’t allow myself to be.
Realising that the ‘enoughness’ I was looking for through achievements and accomplishments - that it would never make me feel whole - released me from all the grasping.
And suddenly, I can just be. It’s the greatest gift you can give yourself. Caring less about potentials and results and people’s opinions is one of the true joys of getting older.
Great article, I resonate with it so much . The FOMO especially hits me when I see people around me ‘find their thing’ , and bloom in their respective places.
But it also makes me wonder if this an only privilege person problem (aka first world problem). When I look at insurance accountants, and underwriting agents around, I can’t help but assume that they aren’t really passionate about this craft but really fake their enthusiasm at doing it and do a great job at it for years on.
Somebody once told me you have an artists soul for wanting to seek your own mould, but then somebody else also told me - When there’s no food on the table, your only passion becomes putting food on the table.
So I’m somewhere struggling between the urgency of finding the ‘fit’ or just being grateful for what I have - and sticking with it.
I also went to grad school and followed a path I realized was the wrong one. On the one hand I could have stuck it out in a soul crushing career with decent pay. But I’ve got ~60 more years of work, so I’m going to find a worthy pursuit.
I'm now in my late 50s and recently retired, but what you wrote about your experience rang true. In my 20s work-life period, looking for my “thing,” I remember that paradoxical sense of having plenty of time to figure things out and a ticking clock of internal and external pressure to hurry up and do so, to move into a long-term career. You have to pay the rent and drive a reliable vehicle, while at the same time, it's essential to like what you have to do to pay those bills. It's not easy, but there is some small comfort in knowing you are not alone. Other people have also had to or are currently grappling with similar issues as they make their way in the world. Success breeds success, especially with a growth mindset. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
This whole article rang very true to how I'm feeling, especially the part about "wasted potential". That's how I've been feeling the past 6 months to a year while I try to figure out my next move. Great article. Nice to know there's others out there in the same situation. We'll get there eventually O7
You make good points. I'm on a similar situation. Somrthing you could expand more on is ways in which you can point in the direction when you actually decide. In my experience, the late 20s junior roles seem to be really scarce so changing is hard, specially if you dont have a clear 'carreer story' (like what you said about media)
Nice one Jack. A spoiler alert from nearly two decades ahead... You might change your mind and direction a few times yet. But that's part of the adventure. We'd be bored if we didn't grow (I remind myself of this often!).
Accurate insight, coming from an old fart in his 50's. I had a similar career trajectory until my early 30's but life happens. Got married, bought a house, had kids and life "settled". Careers and opportunities became more scarse and difficult to seize due to family obilgations. Following your passions and optimizing self may take a back seat (my choice). Your mileage will vary. That said, my kids are now of the age that seeking where to maximize my potential is an option once again. But I'm unsure. I might just FatFIRE and be a ski bum.
I enjoy reading your essays ( you may note by my word choice that I am older. A lot older!). But I want to make a point: you can restart and change gears in career almost at any age in these United States. You are not “ locked and loaded” except by your own imagination. There are many a story of becoming a teacher, lawyer, doctor, leaving a lucrative career or simply changing direction from every decade of life. Sure, I wouldn’t want to start a 8 year training program at 50. But I know people have. Step back. Look around and find meaningful work or find meaning in your work. You spend a lot of your life involved in it.
This is great perspective, thanks Catherine
Banger today Jack. I’m in my late 20s and everyone around me (including myself) is going through the same thing. It’s like life has become all about setting up your 30s and 40s for success.
Mmm…. I felt a lot of the stress and pressure to “live up to my potential” too - I was also an overachiever and accolade collector (with a Master’s degree from Oxford etc).
But honestly, as forty starts to slide into view, it all starts to seem a little silly.
There is nothing to figure out. The pressure to “figure it out” is a sort of societal anxiety, but that’s all it is - anxiety. This is clear to me now.
I spent so long worrying about finding my purpose and fulfilling my potential that I didn’t allow myself to be.
Realising that the ‘enoughness’ I was looking for through achievements and accomplishments - that it would never make me feel whole - released me from all the grasping.
And suddenly, I can just be. It’s the greatest gift you can give yourself. Caring less about potentials and results and people’s opinions is one of the true joys of getting older.
And that is freedom. It really is.
This one spoke to me - the fear of not capitalizing on one’s potential is a very real one
I’m 26 and this is so real. A great quote that I heard a few months ago is: you don’t want to lie in your pillow and think “what if…?”
Thanks for vocalizing exactly what I (and many others) are feeling in the period of our lives
Great article, I resonate with it so much . The FOMO especially hits me when I see people around me ‘find their thing’ , and bloom in their respective places.
But it also makes me wonder if this an only privilege person problem (aka first world problem). When I look at insurance accountants, and underwriting agents around, I can’t help but assume that they aren’t really passionate about this craft but really fake their enthusiasm at doing it and do a great job at it for years on.
Somebody once told me you have an artists soul for wanting to seek your own mould, but then somebody else also told me - When there’s no food on the table, your only passion becomes putting food on the table.
So I’m somewhere struggling between the urgency of finding the ‘fit’ or just being grateful for what I have - and sticking with it.
Happy Friday!
I also went to grad school and followed a path I realized was the wrong one. On the one hand I could have stuck it out in a soul crushing career with decent pay. But I’ve got ~60 more years of work, so I’m going to find a worthy pursuit.
When people stop saying “you could be…” and start on “you could have been…”
I also like the old "do what would make your 8 or your 80-year-old self proud". Always seems to reset the internal compass.
This was much needed Jack, nice work!
I'm now in my late 50s and recently retired, but what you wrote about your experience rang true. In my 20s work-life period, looking for my “thing,” I remember that paradoxical sense of having plenty of time to figure things out and a ticking clock of internal and external pressure to hurry up and do so, to move into a long-term career. You have to pay the rent and drive a reliable vehicle, while at the same time, it's essential to like what you have to do to pay those bills. It's not easy, but there is some small comfort in knowing you are not alone. Other people have also had to or are currently grappling with similar issues as they make their way in the world. Success breeds success, especially with a growth mindset. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Excellent piece. Couldn’t agree more with the sustained pressure to figure it all out.
You could always move to Milwaukee like your brother!
This whole article rang very true to how I'm feeling, especially the part about "wasted potential". That's how I've been feeling the past 6 months to a year while I try to figure out my next move. Great article. Nice to know there's others out there in the same situation. We'll get there eventually O7
You make good points. I'm on a similar situation. Somrthing you could expand more on is ways in which you can point in the direction when you actually decide. In my experience, the late 20s junior roles seem to be really scarce so changing is hard, specially if you dont have a clear 'carreer story' (like what you said about media)
Nice one Jack. A spoiler alert from nearly two decades ahead... You might change your mind and direction a few times yet. But that's part of the adventure. We'd be bored if we didn't grow (I remind myself of this often!).
Accurate insight, coming from an old fart in his 50's. I had a similar career trajectory until my early 30's but life happens. Got married, bought a house, had kids and life "settled". Careers and opportunities became more scarse and difficult to seize due to family obilgations. Following your passions and optimizing self may take a back seat (my choice). Your mileage will vary. That said, my kids are now of the age that seeking where to maximize my potential is an option once again. But I'm unsure. I might just FatFIRE and be a ski bum.
I’m not in my late 20s yet but I just love your writing so I had to read this 😂💯