There is undoubtedly a higher bar for success and status when born into wealth. The goal is to move the status goalposts laterally, if you're able, to be good in your familial and friendship roles. I'm not suggesting that material success as status is not important, only that the sooner you recognize the "portfolio approach" to self-esteem, the more chance you give yourself for happiness.
That is SO well elucidated, David!! The other thing that jumps out at me is the major difference between being externally compared to being internally motivated.
That status game, just like attempting to live a life others think you should, seems to be one where you cannot "win"...
Those kids in Palo Alto needed some merciful perspective and were tragically denied. Born on 3rd you’re given the best odds to score. With some luck it’ll win the game. But you’re never going to hit a home run from there, or even execute a successful sacrifice bunt. Know thyself first, don’t take your eye off that ball when you’re up to bat, and afford yourself room for a decent swing. Stay with it and you’ll eventually connect, something no one can pretend to have done on your behalf, and you’ll have made your own contribution in your own way.
Status anxiety and materialism are close allies in our society. Fortunately we’ve got a lot of great examples of heroism - social, cultural, artistic, commercial, martial - that didn’t allow them to be the final measure of worthiness.
But they do exert a powerful gravitational pull. A young man I worked with in a south central LA high school about 10 years ago left for law school back east after a couple years. Back in town with a prestigious high finance job he engineered a real estate deal that eventually cratered and resulted in a massive write-off. He recently ran for comptroller of LA; his mother sank millions into his campaign and he lost badly. He’d done well as a math teacher. Seems as if he passed on his true calling.
There is a similar thread of criticism regarding meritocracy and human capital. Very high material rewards for high human capital (and the fact that childhood acclimation and large educational investments make that human capital somewhat heritable) mean that meritocratic systems can, over time, largely shut down social mobility. This locks much of the middle class out of the best opportunities, and traps even the "winners" of the system in a rat race to maintain the status they were born into. I think this is best explained (if not solved) in the Meritocracy Trap, by Daniel Markovitz.
Meritocracies are great at solving material challenges, but it requires a lot of introspection and self-awareness, both personally and at a societal level, to avoid falling into the trap above.
This is very true. Status chasing is a “race to the bottom” in most situations, because someone always has it a little better, a little nicer, or a a little newer than you do. It’s like running a dead sprint on a treadmill that doesn’t stop, and you eventually just fall off and land on your face.
I think back to Solnick and Hemenway’s 1998 study, where nearly HALF of survey respondents preferred a scenario where they were making less money overall but doing relatively better than their immediate peers as opposed to making more overall but doing comparatively worse. These people willingly chose to be worse off, just for the sake of having more than those around them.
This is why you need to forge your own values and run your life in accordance with an internal scorecard that answers “do I have enough?” and “do I like my life?” Comprising peace, happiness, and pursuing your interests to try to one-up other people is a recipe for disaster.
This sounds correct. And makes for a perfectly miserable existence. In China and also Korea and Japan there is something similar. Children in elementary school under incredible pressure and studying 12 hours a day to stay on a treadmill to one of the top universities and hopefully companies. Once there the treadmill doesn’t stop. Not a recipe for happiness.
I certainly hope that as many young people as possible can see this. There is a similar but "lower class" status game, similar to the ones you spent more time on. That is, kids born into middle-class families with parents who pursued the "Status Game" for most of their lives then pass the concept down as core life values to their children. If such kids cannot recognize the flaws their parents have committed, accept such a status game concept, and continue to pursue such status games, then their future would be a lot worse than that of those who spent nearly a million dollars before entering college.
Hi Jack,
There is undoubtedly a higher bar for success and status when born into wealth. The goal is to move the status goalposts laterally, if you're able, to be good in your familial and friendship roles. I'm not suggesting that material success as status is not important, only that the sooner you recognize the "portfolio approach" to self-esteem, the more chance you give yourself for happiness.
That is SO well elucidated, David!! The other thing that jumps out at me is the major difference between being externally compared to being internally motivated.
That status game, just like attempting to live a life others think you should, seems to be one where you cannot "win"...
Thanks Andrew
Hope all is well with you
Teach me more I’ve been doing well in the stock market now! Heading to Greenwich soon!
Those kids in Palo Alto needed some merciful perspective and were tragically denied. Born on 3rd you’re given the best odds to score. With some luck it’ll win the game. But you’re never going to hit a home run from there, or even execute a successful sacrifice bunt. Know thyself first, don’t take your eye off that ball when you’re up to bat, and afford yourself room for a decent swing. Stay with it and you’ll eventually connect, something no one can pretend to have done on your behalf, and you’ll have made your own contribution in your own way.
Status anxiety and materialism are close allies in our society. Fortunately we’ve got a lot of great examples of heroism - social, cultural, artistic, commercial, martial - that didn’t allow them to be the final measure of worthiness.
But they do exert a powerful gravitational pull. A young man I worked with in a south central LA high school about 10 years ago left for law school back east after a couple years. Back in town with a prestigious high finance job he engineered a real estate deal that eventually cratered and resulted in a massive write-off. He recently ran for comptroller of LA; his mother sank millions into his campaign and he lost badly. He’d done well as a math teacher. Seems as if he passed on his true calling.
There is a similar thread of criticism regarding meritocracy and human capital. Very high material rewards for high human capital (and the fact that childhood acclimation and large educational investments make that human capital somewhat heritable) mean that meritocratic systems can, over time, largely shut down social mobility. This locks much of the middle class out of the best opportunities, and traps even the "winners" of the system in a rat race to maintain the status they were born into. I think this is best explained (if not solved) in the Meritocracy Trap, by Daniel Markovitz.
Meritocracies are great at solving material challenges, but it requires a lot of introspection and self-awareness, both personally and at a societal level, to avoid falling into the trap above.
This is very true. Status chasing is a “race to the bottom” in most situations, because someone always has it a little better, a little nicer, or a a little newer than you do. It’s like running a dead sprint on a treadmill that doesn’t stop, and you eventually just fall off and land on your face.
I think back to Solnick and Hemenway’s 1998 study, where nearly HALF of survey respondents preferred a scenario where they were making less money overall but doing relatively better than their immediate peers as opposed to making more overall but doing comparatively worse. These people willingly chose to be worse off, just for the sake of having more than those around them.
This is why you need to forge your own values and run your life in accordance with an internal scorecard that answers “do I have enough?” and “do I like my life?” Comprising peace, happiness, and pursuing your interests to try to one-up other people is a recipe for disaster.
Another banger read.
This sounds correct. And makes for a perfectly miserable existence. In China and also Korea and Japan there is something similar. Children in elementary school under incredible pressure and studying 12 hours a day to stay on a treadmill to one of the top universities and hopefully companies. Once there the treadmill doesn’t stop. Not a recipe for happiness.
Pre-ordered🙌
I certainly hope that as many young people as possible can see this. There is a similar but "lower class" status game, similar to the ones you spent more time on. That is, kids born into middle-class families with parents who pursued the "Status Game" for most of their lives then pass the concept down as core life values to their children. If such kids cannot recognize the flaws their parents have committed, accept such a status game concept, and continue to pursue such status games, then their future would be a lot worse than that of those who spent nearly a million dollars before entering college.