The 'proximity breeds socialization' observation is spot on. Apparently, two things help build friendship equity: time and proximity. Having close friends that don't live nearby, I can attest to the inertia that sets in with people who can't be bothered to get together if it's a hassle.
Jack, I resonate with this so much and I can’t wait to re-read your post again. I, too, am an Atlantan/ATLien who grew up in SWGA (Americus!!!), and I’m dying to move to NYC. I spent 7 years in Los Angeles and moved back to Atlanta post-breakup. The part about giving up your golf shirts and chinos made me chuckle.
I think living in larger, expensive cities is totally worth the cost and sacrifice of having 1-2 cars and a yard. You can have everything you’ll ever need in a 350-600 sqft space. Still being one of those people who only visit NYC often, I romanticize the idea of living there myself — hopefully soon! Thank you again for your insight. You mentioned many things here that have been on my mind for a long time, and you put it in words perfectly (especially also coming from the 229!)
I have been living part time in NYC since May and I'm almost 50 and I'll tell you the NYC dangers are definitely exaggerated. I'm too old to be up at 2am but the subway feels safe close to midnight when I've ridden it.
Great post Jack! Being in NYC for over 5 years, I think you really hit on all the major points. Everyone in New York pays the price of being in NYC (high prices etc.), but they do so because of the benefits you laid out. NYC is certainly worth the price if your willing to take advantage of all it has to offer.
I make dunking on liberal areas like NYC and the Bay area into a sport and this article made even me made me want to be a New Yorker. I love how you described the energy of NYC. I got a little taste of that in college during my day trips down West Point to the city. As much as I love living in the North Carolina now, we just dont have that type of energy here in suburbia.
Also, what you said about friends really rings true. Now I'm 34 with two kids and one on the way. As much as I love my family, living in the suburbs away from a big city means seeing friends is nearly impossible. Everything has to be planned weeks in advance and everything is a 30 minute drive away. The way our communities are built really isn't conducive to building community or having serendipitous encounter. Love my kids, but wish I had more friends close by. Life wasn't meant to be lived in isolation.
These feelings are sooo relatable!! I had some similar travel stints a few years ago (months-long solo road trip across the US) but now that I've been settled back in my apartment for the past couple years, really found a community in NYC outside of high school friends (I'm from the area), I really can't imagine where else I would live. Traveling to other cities is boring--I really only like to travel now to nature (the one thing we don't get much of here, besides Central Park) like Alaska and Maine
I was never attracted to NY before, but this article had me considering getting a Visa,
I live in London, UK, so I already have the high rent and need for more ambition, but this article helped me see those as positives
London is still difficult to get time in with friends, they always need booking weeks or months in advance, I need to figure out a better system, like yours
Good piece, BUT there are real world consequences that come with punishingly high rents--just ask the people who drive the buses, clean the office buildings, pour your coffee, etc. New York loses out when its working class citizens are priced out. And it ain't all supply and demand, but you know that.
Thank you! And that's a fair critique, but I would argue those dynamics are at play pretty much anywhere. Manhattan, outside of a few neighborhoods, has become more and more desirable, and that desirability is going to send prices up. Especially in a city as tightly packed as Manhattan.
However, New York does have the only efficient subway system, at scale, in the US, making a 30 minute commute from Queens/Brooklyn very doable. Of course it's not perfect, but it is pretty good, imo.
The pricey-ness is a product a supply and demand, but the way supply is described in the piece makes it seem like density is a constraint that cannot be increased. Demand is always going to be high for cities like NYC/SF/LA (which is a good thing), but the supply of housing in these areas have been artificially constrained by self-imposed rules/regulations for decades which has lead to extreme prices in Manhattan (and the surrounding boroughs to a lesser degree).
Hopefully cities and the surrounding areas can get out of their own way, so that working class people don't have to be priced out more.
This was a great piece articulating a lot of the post-college life experience. Do you think your view of NYC as the only city with all of these benefits is influenced by not living in other American big cities (like SF, Chicago, DC, etc)? Not disagreeing with the opinions, but curious to know how that may be affecting your perspective
I try to read one article on Substack each day, and it takes a while to sort my feed to find something with an optimistic tone. It seems like all media tends to skew 90/10 negative.
New York City sounds like a great place to live. I think you have to be a particular type of person to fall for its charms, but it sounds like you are that type of person. I hope you enjoy your time there!
Amazingly written article. This is one of the articles where you'll come back to read it again. Most of the things mentioned are true for Berlin maybe except for the proximity part.
New York is unique in terms of its diversity of people. Compared to other metropolitan areas, it may not rank highest in living quality or safety, but the people you meet there give you room to imagine new ideas and create opportunities, would love to visit again soon!!
The 'proximity breeds socialization' observation is spot on. Apparently, two things help build friendship equity: time and proximity. Having close friends that don't live nearby, I can attest to the inertia that sets in with people who can't be bothered to get together if it's a hassle.
Jack, I resonate with this so much and I can’t wait to re-read your post again. I, too, am an Atlantan/ATLien who grew up in SWGA (Americus!!!), and I’m dying to move to NYC. I spent 7 years in Los Angeles and moved back to Atlanta post-breakup. The part about giving up your golf shirts and chinos made me chuckle.
I think living in larger, expensive cities is totally worth the cost and sacrifice of having 1-2 cars and a yard. You can have everything you’ll ever need in a 350-600 sqft space. Still being one of those people who only visit NYC often, I romanticize the idea of living there myself — hopefully soon! Thank you again for your insight. You mentioned many things here that have been on my mind for a long time, and you put it in words perfectly (especially also coming from the 229!)
I have been living part time in NYC since May and I'm almost 50 and I'll tell you the NYC dangers are definitely exaggerated. I'm too old to be up at 2am but the subway feels safe close to midnight when I've ridden it.
Alright I’ll move to NY
Great post Jack! Being in NYC for over 5 years, I think you really hit on all the major points. Everyone in New York pays the price of being in NYC (high prices etc.), but they do so because of the benefits you laid out. NYC is certainly worth the price if your willing to take advantage of all it has to offer.
Having returned from NY in July 2024, I agree with you that it's beautiful and the people are nicely dressed and attractive.
I make dunking on liberal areas like NYC and the Bay area into a sport and this article made even me made me want to be a New Yorker. I love how you described the energy of NYC. I got a little taste of that in college during my day trips down West Point to the city. As much as I love living in the North Carolina now, we just dont have that type of energy here in suburbia.
Also, what you said about friends really rings true. Now I'm 34 with two kids and one on the way. As much as I love my family, living in the suburbs away from a big city means seeing friends is nearly impossible. Everything has to be planned weeks in advance and everything is a 30 minute drive away. The way our communities are built really isn't conducive to building community or having serendipitous encounter. Love my kids, but wish I had more friends close by. Life wasn't meant to be lived in isolation.
Love it!! I love living here in NY and have no desire or reason to ever live elsewhere…also very thankful…it gives me life!
These feelings are sooo relatable!! I had some similar travel stints a few years ago (months-long solo road trip across the US) but now that I've been settled back in my apartment for the past couple years, really found a community in NYC outside of high school friends (I'm from the area), I really can't imagine where else I would live. Traveling to other cities is boring--I really only like to travel now to nature (the one thing we don't get much of here, besides Central Park) like Alaska and Maine
I was never attracted to NY before, but this article had me considering getting a Visa,
I live in London, UK, so I already have the high rent and need for more ambition, but this article helped me see those as positives
London is still difficult to get time in with friends, they always need booking weeks or months in advance, I need to figure out a better system, like yours
Good piece, BUT there are real world consequences that come with punishingly high rents--just ask the people who drive the buses, clean the office buildings, pour your coffee, etc. New York loses out when its working class citizens are priced out. And it ain't all supply and demand, but you know that.
Thank you! And that's a fair critique, but I would argue those dynamics are at play pretty much anywhere. Manhattan, outside of a few neighborhoods, has become more and more desirable, and that desirability is going to send prices up. Especially in a city as tightly packed as Manhattan.
However, New York does have the only efficient subway system, at scale, in the US, making a 30 minute commute from Queens/Brooklyn very doable. Of course it's not perfect, but it is pretty good, imo.
The pricey-ness is a product a supply and demand, but the way supply is described in the piece makes it seem like density is a constraint that cannot be increased. Demand is always going to be high for cities like NYC/SF/LA (which is a good thing), but the supply of housing in these areas have been artificially constrained by self-imposed rules/regulations for decades which has lead to extreme prices in Manhattan (and the surrounding boroughs to a lesser degree).
Hopefully cities and the surrounding areas can get out of their own way, so that working class people don't have to be priced out more.
Love this article! I was wondering what the main cultural differences are now being in sf?
This was a great piece articulating a lot of the post-college life experience. Do you think your view of NYC as the only city with all of these benefits is influenced by not living in other American big cities (like SF, Chicago, DC, etc)? Not disagreeing with the opinions, but curious to know how that may be affecting your perspective
Thank you for writing something positive!
I try to read one article on Substack each day, and it takes a while to sort my feed to find something with an optimistic tone. It seems like all media tends to skew 90/10 negative.
New York City sounds like a great place to live. I think you have to be a particular type of person to fall for its charms, but it sounds like you are that type of person. I hope you enjoy your time there!
Amazingly written article. This is one of the articles where you'll come back to read it again. Most of the things mentioned are true for Berlin maybe except for the proximity part.
New York is unique in terms of its diversity of people. Compared to other metropolitan areas, it may not rank highest in living quality or safety, but the people you meet there give you room to imagine new ideas and create opportunities, would love to visit again soon!!